As I've taken up writing on here anew, I've also been better about writing in my journal-thingie. And that's a good thing because I bought it a couple of years ago, a fancy Moleskine one, and it'd been a damn shame that I wasn't filling it up and getting my money's worth.
I bought it when I started this research project about romantic relationships and what they mean for the self -- the past, present, and future self. In particular, I was trying to figure out what they meant for my feminist self. I interviewed my Mom, some of my best friends, a couple of women from church. And I got some good stuff. Originally, I had a plan for writing up the project, but ultimately, I guess I just came to some insights that I was needing and then that was done.
Seemingly abrupt shift: A few years ago, Rachel told me that a cantor had once described faith in God to her as "feeling lucky all the time." That resonated with me, and I've thought about it a lot since.
I've been feeling tentatively better the last couple of weeks, and part of it, I'm sure, has been that I've felt really lucky several times. It's made me feel held, protected. I'd like to be better at nurturing that sense of gratitude as a way of staving off the intense despair that's marked the last several months for me.
I'm thinking about taking up another "research project." This time, I'm thinking of asking folks ahead of time to come up with a list of ten or so things (people, experiences, whatever) in their lives that make them feel lucky. (And nothing cliche. You can't say "family" because, duh, boring. Gotta be specific.) A gratitude survey. And then I want to chat with them about their list, take my dorky notes in my Moleskine. Think about what they say so much.
First I'll write my own list to see what that's like, and then, I'll get started.
I bought it when I started this research project about romantic relationships and what they mean for the self -- the past, present, and future self. In particular, I was trying to figure out what they meant for my feminist self. I interviewed my Mom, some of my best friends, a couple of women from church. And I got some good stuff. Originally, I had a plan for writing up the project, but ultimately, I guess I just came to some insights that I was needing and then that was done.
Seemingly abrupt shift: A few years ago, Rachel told me that a cantor had once described faith in God to her as "feeling lucky all the time." That resonated with me, and I've thought about it a lot since.
I've been feeling tentatively better the last couple of weeks, and part of it, I'm sure, has been that I've felt really lucky several times. It's made me feel held, protected. I'd like to be better at nurturing that sense of gratitude as a way of staving off the intense despair that's marked the last several months for me.
I'm thinking about taking up another "research project." This time, I'm thinking of asking folks ahead of time to come up with a list of ten or so things (people, experiences, whatever) in their lives that make them feel lucky. (And nothing cliche. You can't say "family" because, duh, boring. Gotta be specific.) A gratitude survey. And then I want to chat with them about their list, take my dorky notes in my Moleskine. Think about what they say so much.
First I'll write my own list to see what that's like, and then, I'll get started.
2 comments:
Me, please! I want to get lucky. And now I have Daft Punk stuck in my head.
Absolutely, You're top on my list because I never got to interview you for the last project. Let me know when you've got a list written. It's way harder, I'm finding, to write a list of things that make me feel lucky than it would be to write a list of things that make me feel grateful.
Post a Comment