Can I get some first amendment up in here?

I was at the library near my parents' this morning, getting some stuff done for work, and was unable to check through all my friends' blogs. I got this:

I got over that, but then when I wanted YouTube, I got:

What the F? What is this, censorship? Are not libraries supposed to be bastions of free speech? When I inquired, the librarian assured me that this was not usual, and that she really had no idea why these sites were blocked. She said they block things for kids on the library's own computers, but that adults and laptop users shouldn't have any filtering going on. Color me suspicious.

Come on! How about a little student/teacher trust, mother F-ers?

I overheard two teachers talking, the other day, about this "great" new(-ish) website, turnitin.com. Ya have students upload their papers to the site, and it checks them for plagiarism. "Our school has a reputation to uphold," one of said teachers added.

Hhhhhhh... Forgive me, but turnitin.com is not great.

Writing is hard. It would be convenient if writing could be made easy with step-one-step-two-step-three, but it can't. And students, if they are to become ("better") writers, need to struggle with the messy process that writing is. They need to write A LOT. They need teachers who support them in that struggle with constructive feedback and creative assignments that invite them to write every which way, in all kinds of contexts, with all kinds of purposes, real audiences, etc. They need to feel welcome to take risks as writers (and as thinkers, readers, speakers, web-designers). Writing, being creative, that shit is scary. it's intimidating. A good writing teacher will help students feel confident, not suspect. A good writing teacher will help students to engage, to feel as though they have a stake in good writing. A good writing teacher, will roll up her/his sleeves and get so involved in the writing process with the students that s/he would know each student's writing process and style well enough to render turnitin.com useless.

crazy hat day

I just came across this slideshow of photos from the Royal Ascot. These two are my favorites:

Was Moses stoned?

I'm reading a book my brothers recommended about Mormon Fundamentalists called Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer. Very interesting. I've never heard the following suggested interpretation:

"When Dan became reacquainted with marijuana through his association with Knapp, he says that because he was no longer under the thumb of the LDS Church, 'for the first time I was able to get high with a clear conscience, and perhaps that is why, rather than just experiencing 'the gladdening of the heart,' I began to experience the 'enlivening of the soul.' I began to have what I would call wonderful spiritual insights.' Getting baked, Dan observed, was much like becoming a child and being introduced into a whole new world... I've concluded that the scripture which says, 'Unless you become like a little child, you can't see the Kingdom of Heaven' is another secret reference to getting high; as is also the mysterious account of Moses seeing God through the burning bush." (178)

Thank you, pituitary gland!

getting my Lit on!

The first email I received in my new work email inbox was subjected, "Getting your Lit on!" and as I read it my nerd-heart skipped a bit.

Then I opened it and found a link to the Send Your Name to the Moon project. Act now! Don't wait! This offer ends Friday!

super-bored

So, in the last week, for various reasons, I've ventured into campus buildings I've not entered before. Mostly to go to the bathroom. So then I got this idea: maybe this summer, I'll try to go to the bathroom at least once in every building on campus. I need another project.

poetry, non-linear-ized

Susan sent me a link to this site, which wordclouds (a new verb) text. I wordclouded my favorite poem, "The Mother" by Gwendolyn Brooks.

It's a YouTube bonanza!

This reminds me of the time when our flight home from Shannon got seemingly eternally post-poned, and some guy on the flight who'd gotten drunk got a hold of the gate's PA system for long enough to say, "ATA's a bunch of cocksuckers!"



from the front page of YouTube:



"Sita is a goddess separated from her beloved Lord and husband Rama. Nina is an animator whose husband moves to India, then dumps her by email. Three hilarious shadow puppets narrate both ancient tragedy and modern comedy in this beautifully animated interpretation of the Indian epic Ramayana. Set to the 1920's jazz vocals of Annette Hanshaw, Sita Sings the Blues earns its tagline as 'The Greatest Break-Up Story Ever Told.'" This was directed, written, produced, designed, and animated by the daughter of the couple who lives across the street from me, I'm told. It sounds pretty interesting.

copycat

oh hey

There's this annoying blog I read and the person who writes it has been putting up unflattering self-portraits lately.

Who's this Robert guy, and is he single?

What's more fun than witty happy hour banter? Witty happy hour banter that adheres to Robert's Rules of Order.


"I move that this shit is funny."
"Is there any discussion?"
"I move to amend the motion by adding that even though Aaron is not going to think this is funny, it still is."
"Second."
"Is The Board prepared to vote on the motion on the table That This Shit Is Funny Even Though Aaron Is Not Going To Think It's Funny?"
[silence, which under RRoO means consent]
"All those in favor of resolving That This Shit Is Funny Even Though Aaron Is Not Going To Think It's Funny say 'Aye!'"
[in unison] "Aye!"
"Abstentions? Opposed?"
[silence]
"The motion has passed. The Board hereby resolves That This Shit Is Funny Even Though Aaron Is Not Going To Think It's Funny."
"I'd just like to bring to The Board the question of whether or not Ben Quinn thinks this is funny?"
"Perhaps we should refer that question to an ad hoc committee, of which it might be a good idea for Ben Quinn to be a part, for exploration of said question?"
"I so move."

things found unattractive* by Kasey, Amy, Phoebe, and Ellen

1. romance
2. speaking in the 3rd person
3. touching
4. moral ambiguity
5. working with men
6. www.searchme.com
7. candlelight lunches in the boardroom
8. an unfunny, asshole blog
9. drunk driving
10. flirting
11. comparing oneself to MLK, Jr., especially when oneself is an ass
12. reasonableness
13. niceness
14. being recommended by Steve Shoemaker
15. Republican glasses
16. not being funny
17. feelings
18. loud gum chopping
19. fake laughing
20. people who like Boltini
21. thinking cool kids suck
22. smocks
23. people who won't work for people who don't have facial hair
24. double-dates
25. being the Program Director for the University YMCA
26. explaining what the Program Director at the YMCA does
27. being corrected
28. emotional crap
29. people who prefer PCs to Macs
30. people who like Journey
31. sappiness
32. political correctness
33. people who like us more than we like them
34. people who we like more than they like us
35. tight clothing
36. people who take long to get ready
37. people who list their Facebook "favorite books" as "I don't read."
38. animals and animal-lovers
39. homophobes
40. when people say "retarded" to mean bad
41. people who supposedly have better taste in music than us and are all pretentious about it
42. really, really good-looking people
43. people who are smarter and/or cooler than us
44. people who are less smart and/or less cool than us
45. hotmail users
46. people who can't hang
47. pomp
48. circumstance
49. ceremony
50. being in agreement
51. male chauvinists
52. wack friends
53. single, double, and/or triple popped collars
54. bedwetters
55. sabotage
56. lack of rhythm
57. hugging
58. anagrams
59. staring
60. people who watch FOX News seriously
61. people who misuse ironicies
62. people who use blogs as points of confrontation


things found attractive by the aforementioned group
1. English as a Second Linguists
2. unavailability
3. sexual orientation ambiguity
4. people who are retired
5. being a professor
6. snowy white hair
7. being sensual with current partner (see also #2)
8. perks (like frequent flyer miles and good TV on DVD collections)
9. height (lots of it)
10. being Aaron Smith and/or engaged to Amy Wolff
11. knowing who Sherman Alexie is
12. nerdiness
13. real laughing
14. people disapproved of by friends
15. people who know how to set up hookahs
16. skills in general
17. excellent book collections
18. people who like The Esquire
19. www.google.com
20. the idea of David Beckham
21. being a founder of the David Beckham fan club
22. being a teacher and/or LEX bus driver
23. people who like Journey
24. hip hop
25. strong capability in the fucking-with-heads department
26. significant age differences
27. political correctness
28. stong interest and knowledge in computer science
29. people who are not ourselves
30. Victoria's Secret models
31. beach scenes
32. good listserv memberships
33. puns
34. people who watch FOX News facetiously
35. saying "yo"
36. people who make up words
37. bad spellers




*note: not all listed (un)attractions are (un)attractive to each person in the group

funny things I heard people say this weekend

old man to guy working in gas station:
"Are you old enough to remember when you guys wouldn't take 50 or 100 dollar bills?"

preacher at Beverly Unitarian Church:
"And then God said, 'You people with your racism and your sexism and your classism are urinating me off!'"

my summer roommates

yikes!

Check this out!

silver lining

Earlier this week I inadvertently deleted every single document on my computer -- moved them to the "Trash" and then selected "Empty Trash." Yeah. Not smart, I know. Anyway, some saint in user services at the University recovered everything today to a neat desktop folder called "documents." But all of the documents were completely unorganized and named "D00467" and the like. So I've been spending the whole day reorganizing all my shit. A sort of blessing in disguise, because now I've got this compulsive little project that will take me a few days.

Anyway, the best part is rediscovering all of the sweet shit I've got on this computer. Like I found this photo:

"Teen charged with crime for bringing pony to school"

The only crime I can see here is the re-use of an originally unfunny joke.

46 > 71

When Andrew, somewhat unwillingly ("It's a little mean... but funny.") sent me a link to thingsyoungerthanmccain.com, I got a pretty good laugh out of the idea that McCain is older than pee bee and jays.

What's funnier, though, than being older than that sandwich, is the list of names that reporters have given to this exchange between Michelle and Barack before his speech last week in St. Paul. My favorite? "The fist bump of hope." (Seriously, if you never follow any of the links I include in my posts, follow this one. Funniest article ever.)

making up for May

One day, three posts. Yeah.

But I let my blog's birthday go by unnoticed. It was June 2nd. One year old. Happy birthday, blog!

whoa

This is cool. My Dad sent me a list of sweet things to do with Flickr, but I really like this one: retrievr.


Using a Paint type thingy, you sketch the image you're looking for, and then it loads and displays a ton of images that are similar. I'm not exactly sure what I would use this for, but it sure is neat.

The other gadgets, in case you're interested, are Mirrr, Phrasr, Tag Galaxy, and Notifyr. And wow, they are all so cool.

chill the fuck out

Did anyone catch Anderson Cooper 360° last night? They were covering the breaking news that Obama and Clinton were meeting about they weren't sure what (but they guessed the VP convo) they weren't sure where (but they had live footage from Clinton's home in New York).

And then after about an hour of speculation by at least four commentators as to what he might be saying/she might be saying, an on-record source from the Obama campaign reported that the two had met at some point yesterday, but not at her house.

The commentators were all like, "Uhh.. well I guess we can stop showing you her house, and um, our bad, but uhh.. we did have sources, we swear..."

I mean, false alarm, it's cool, but isn't there anything else to report on while they're waiting to actually know what they're talking about on that story instead of creating these complicated storylines around what might-maybe-could-possibly-be-according-to-unconfirmed-sources. It's not news yet. It will be in an hour or so. In the meantime, chill the fuck out, and tell us about something else.

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

When I was little and my Mom was on the phone and I wanted to talk to her, I didn't care that she was on the phone. I would call her name, and then when she didn't answer, I would start tapping her gently on the hand or the leg, whisper-shouting, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!" as if she didn't hear me the first time. And most often, I'd really need to tell her whatever it was when she was on the phone with Conor's doctor, or Ireland, or some other clearly important call.

I saw a little girl doing the same thing tonight to her mom at Target. The mom was clearly just trying to think. The little girl didn't give a shit. It was hilarious. The mom looked at me all frustrated but smiling, and I was like, "Um, I think she's trying to get your attention." Then I turned to the little girl, who couldn't have been more than five, and said jokingly, "Well, if she'd answered you the first time..." The little girl goes, "Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I know. I mean, sometimes I have to ask her the same thing eighteen times! It's so annoying!"

uhhhhhhhhhh

Why is Barack Obama so goooooooooooooooood....

(Just got a chance to watch his St. Paul speech.)

Parents On Parade

At Commencement a few weeks ago, I introduced my parents to a couple of my profs and thought it was so weird. Teachers are trained to welcome their students' parents into communication about their children, but I noticed that none of my professors in college sent home a letter with me: "Dear parent(s)/guardian(s), My name is BlahBlahBlah and I am your child's ENGL 402 professor..." I found it a little strange to imagine some of my professors even knowing I had parents, let alone meeting them, if that makes sense.

This morning I was enjoying a cup of coffee with my aforementioned vampire book (which by the way, is un-put-down-able) at the cafe in the Union. There are lots of first year students here everyday for orientation, and there are lots of parents around to accompany them. I'm not that much older than them, but for a second I found myself thinking, "Oh, of course. They needed a ride here." Um, no they didn't, first year students are eighteen and mostly have drivers' licenses. They're not little kids. They can vote, smoke, and buy porn. But I saw one dad standing behind the registration table taking a picture of his son receiving his nametag sticker as if his little boy was getting ready for his first day of kindergarten. Hilarious! And also a little embarrassing.

College, in my experience, is largely a parent-free zone, physically at least. In no way do I mean to discredit the emotional and financial support I received from my parents during college. No doubt my parents played a more important role than they realize in my degree-earning process. Nor do I mean to look snobbily down on these new first years who I know can and will figure things out on their own. No way.

But as I type this post there is a pretty intense scene going on at the computer next to me involving a heavily frustrated mother-daughter-older-brother combo trying to figure out if the daughter should take PSYCH or SOC or ANTHRO or FSHN. ("Hhhhh! GOD, Mom! I don't want to take that! That's so boring!" "Hunny, PSYCH 100 is a good class. What's wrong with that class?") I guess I'm just finding it amusing because deciding which classes to take was never really something I included my parents in.

I'm being a stereotypical young adult right now, pathetically marveling at my own relative independence, I know. But come on, freshman are funny. Being new at something is goofy. Man, I am not looking forward to being the new person again.

Maybe it's because I'm currently reading a vampire love story

but when a guy I work with said today that the women getting all dressed up to go see the Sex and the City movie are no different than the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings fans who dress as their favorite protagonists for movie premiers, I had a good laugh. Because true that.

"The 'Sex and the City' movie becomes a girls' night out"

WHAT!?

Last night, as I was walking down the street, there were three little girls playing in a front yard. Their game seemed to require that one of them have a blanket over her head and chase around after the other two. Anyway, as I was walking by, Blanket heard me and thought I was one of her friends, so she started walking after me. Then her friends, giggling, yelled, "No, that's not us! That's a woman!"

A woman? I'm not old!