Under Drumpf’s administration, I have forgotten what I have
to say. It’s like, he makes it too easy:
“Dumb fuck.”
There. Now I feel like I’ve adequately critiqued his foul
ass.
I’m also feeling writerly paralyzation because so many other
folks are already writing fantastic pieces about what’s going on, and I’ve been
feeling like, the best contribution I can make is just to Like and Share.
So I’m sitting down tonight to come up with something because I like how I feel
about myself when I’m writing. I like the feeling of trying to wrangle the
right words onto the page.
At least a dozen people have told me that I should be
writing about the work we’re doing at SQ, but it’s hard for me to get outside
of it and see the threads of narratives available for the telling.
In the last year, I’ve edited books for two different
friends. They make it look so easy. Five- or six-page Word document? Chapter.
Ten chapters in a book. They just do it.
And I’m sitting here feeling like I’ve got nothing to say
when I’m pretty sure do.
I’d like to start publishing some stuff online maybe.
There have been several instances in the last few months
where I think I’ve smelt a tiny whiff of what it’s like to have my depression
lifted off of me. For a long time I’ve been fine, but not able to get excited
about anything. The first moment came when I was seeing Hamilton with my Mom in March. As I watched, I kept thinking about
a clip from a PBS special about the show where you see Lin-Manuel Miranda
bringing his draft to a two other guys, and they’re going through it to edit
and build. And I’d get so excited and want to do that.
In no particular order, I want to write about
: How white people need to find a way out of their blind
rage at reverse racism without losing face. White people need to figure out
ways that help white people better understand historical context and systemic
oppression without emasculating them. If that makes sense. White people can get
so defensive, and then the conversation feels hopeless because they’re not
going to back down because white supremacy intersects powerfully with misogyny
and hypermasculinity! We gotta do something about our people for real.
: The implicit pedagogy of Creativity Explored. Our former
director called it “non-confrontational advocacy.” We do what we can to bring
attention to work created by artists with developmental disabilities and know
that when folks experience the beauty of the artwork, they a teensy-bit unlearn
ableist and patronizing ideas about folks with developmental disabilities.
Sentence too long.
But I think it’s much more interesting to think about the
pedagogy of the studio, the teachers’ approach to the artists they work with.
The lack of curriculum. The variance between giving artists direct guidance,
images to draw or paint, and giving artists the paint they need to create
basically the exact same piece that they’ve been making for thirty years.
Artists are encouraged as they develop their practice, and artists are supported if they decide not to “get better.” Teachers
do what they can to make sure that artists can make informed choices and then
follow the artists’ lead.
Makes me think about how my Mom would always say that they
needed to stop plotting to make Conor smarter in his annual IEP meetings. Like,
he’s fine the way he is. Let’s just make sure he’s experiencing pleasure –
delicious food, sunny days, loud music.
: I’m teaching a class at Mills, Introduction to the
Humanities, and we just read Whiteness as Property and the first chapter of Pedagogy of the Oppressed. We’ve been
talking about what it means to be human (and the students, graciously, are not
rolling their eyes the way I kind of am at myself.) What struck me most this
time around was the question of whether our humanity is innately individual or
innately connected. I’m just now realizing that I think it’s the latter.
And for some silly reason, I’ve been thinking about how much
I like the word “folks,” and how there’s not really such thing as a singular
folk. Maybe there is, but it’s a horrible word.
Okay now, I’m going to go watch a few episodes of Insecure.
