2/18/2015

my lucky list

When I talked to Suzanne about her lucky list, she prompted me to parse out the differences between lucky and grateful and privilege and blessed and straight-up intuition.



So I used those as categories when I wrote my list.  Here it is:


LUCKY
Nobody made deliberately choices or put in purposeful effort to make these things work out the way they did.  They just did.  Coincidences that are awesome.
  • Meeting Amanda through some listserv that Rebecca was on.
  • Finding Joaquín on Craigslist.
  • Rachel interviewing at UHS.
  • Jessica and I going to IHOP that one time when we realized we were both staying in C-U after graduation.
  • Nora finding my application in the SFUSD system.
  • That Andrew and Raymond were at Esquire that one time when I got stood up.
  • That I said “yes,” to Pete asking me if I was interested in tutoring in local schools with VIS-A-VIS on Quad Day 2008.
  • That as a student-teacher I was assigned to Mike L.
  • That I responded to that poorly designed job posting for the internship in Mobile.

GRATEFUL
Things that did not have to happen but did because someone in my life made the decision or did the work to make each of them happen.


PRIVILEGE
Things I have because I am White, non-disabled, straight, cisgendered, middle-class, American, Language-of-Wider-Communication-speaking, thin, young.
  • That without a real job, I can manage.  That I can hang out in the lobby of the Hilton, using their free wifi and watching all the people there for conferences, and the security guards assume I belong.

BLESSED
Things that make me feel like "the world is very mysterious," like Bobbie told me.  These things freak me out and make me feel like stuff is purposeful and we are not in charge -- "more sacred, more broken, more salvageable than we know," like Ron says.
  • NCF.
  • My Bible Study at Glide.
  • That I can write.
  • That I went to India, even though it was mostly a crappier experience than I anticipated it would be.

INTUITION
Things that are because I listened to and trusted myself even though lots of times I don't.
  • EJP.
  • Becoming friends with the White Guy.
  • Thanksgiving 2014 at Michael and Jackie’s with my family.

  • Tammy booking an appointment at David’s Bridal right when I quit my job.
  • Taking Dr. Mayo’s class.
  • That Andrew wanted to check out churches with me.
  • Hanging around Caleb long enough to get to read his book and be affirmed in my suspicious that he is so so great despite all the times I wanted to punch him when we worked together.  And just, I don't know, feeling somehow restored by that.
  • That I took the job at UHS instead of moving to New Orleans.
  • That on the day when J was saying he "couldn't" read Night, I said, "What's up," instead of just directing him back on task.


2 comments:

Suzanne said...

So how do you think differently about the good things in your life that come through blessing vs. privilege vs. luck vs. intuition?

ellen said...

I don't think I feel differently about the different lists, at least not as whole units. Everything I've listed, across all the categories, is something that makes me feel some measure of surprised relief/protection/joy. I guess I could reorganize them that way.