Molly, Sydney, and I went to the girls' basketball game last night, and as we were watching and chatting, the subject of teaching as performance came up.
Because it totally is.
At new teacher orientation, our superintendent told us, and I'm paraphrasing, "Seek help when you need it, because it's too important not to. You have the power to inspire, but you also have the power to destroy a child's dream." Um, can you say pressure?
So there's that fundamental weight hanging above us, and then there's the day-to-day need for standing in front of twenty-ish people and finding something important enough to say that they'll all listen. I mean, you can have a kick-ass lesson planned, but if you can't orally deliver instructions well, it's likely it will bomb. Sometimes, I still get nervous when the bell rings and the kids start coming in.
I think that's why I'm so exhausted all the time. It's performance anxiety.
I feel kinda silly writing this, because after every sentence, every paragraph, I can hear my college-student-self saying, "Um, duh. Get over it." And in no way do I mean this post as some kind of complaint. I LOVE my job.
It's just scary sometimes.
2 comments:
I hear you.
by the way- we should send out another e-mail saying we've renewed the effort to the blog.
good idea!
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