Um, what.

WTF. Check out this story, which was the main focus of the front page of the Daily Illini today: Abnormal student behavior could lead to meetings for help.

According to James Finkle, junior in LAS, a student sitting eight rows back near the isle caused a commotion. He said the student was carrying on a conversation with his Teddy bear.

"Somebody shouted something like, 'Oh, I love you Mr. Bear. How are you Mr. Bear? You went and saw roses with another bear? I thought I was your bear,'" Finkle said.

Kathryn Clancy, professor of anthropology and leader of the lecture, confirmed this report.

"I started hearing a student clearly talking to a Teddy bear," Clancy said. She said she made her way down the stage towards the student to deal with the situation.

"I wanted to encourage his performance to end sooner," Clancy said. "Clearly there was some sort of tryst between the student and the bear."

Finkle said he agreed.

So, if it's a student joke, then why is this news? Why is this front-page news? We're electing a new president in five days. There's no way this could be considered a slow news week. UHS' student newspaper just put out an extra edition, for Chrissake. If it's a student joke, the prof deals with it in office hours. It doesn't get campus-wide media coverage. I mean, why would it?

If it's not a joke, then the student in question probably has some kind of mental illness. So why are we gossiping about it in the DI. And if the student is mentally ill, then why the jocular lead, "Teddy bears never felt so hurt." Mental illness isn't funny.

There's also a weak attempt to link the incident to the threatening note found in the undergrad library earlier this month. I can kinda make that connection, but if I do, I still don't see what's funny.

And I mean, look at this accompanying photo. A reenactment? Seriously? How is that not meant to be funny? In the print version of the paper, it was the largest element on the front page. What. the. hell.