Ellen Clare Mary Ralph Roger James

oh geez

2010-08-23T21:07:00.001-05:00

Scraped my knees up PRETTY BAD when I fell on my face after tripping over a cord in my classroom while teaching this morning.

Is it fair for me to use this as an example to show my students what I expect?

2010-08-09T22:29:00.010-05:00

I could cry I love her section on feminism so much (It starts around 15:00 but everything before it is awesome, so skipping ahead is probably not a good idea):

"But um, it's not the age of women unless it can be the age of girls, too."

Worst moderator ever.

okayyyyy

2010-08-05T16:41:00.005-05:00

"please god don't let someone come outside right now." "please god let someone!"

2010-07-31T12:38:00.006-05:00

Last night as Jess and I were about to get out of the car after dinner, Delilah played The Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You." So we didn't get out of the car. She turned off the engine and the lights and turned up the volume and we sat there in the dark behind our apartment building singing.

It reminded me of a time about twelve or so years ago when I was coming home from somewhere with my Dad. It was nighttime that time, too, and we pulled into the garage just as Elton John's "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" came on the radio. We did then exactly what Jess and I did last night.

Weird parallel memories. Not afraid to admit to liking both of those songs.

(This video is ridiculous, by the way. Ridiculous but awesome.)

lovely views

2010-07-29T12:00:00.004-05:00

Since I'd borrowed Mom and Dad's car for a couple of days this week, I used it to take Eoin and Finola up to Chicago for a visit yesterday.

And took the train back to C-U this morning.

I made this!

2010-07-28T09:52:00.005-05:00

Yeah, it's a Scottie dog bookmark. I started making them in grammar school when I got this book. I musta made dozens of these Scottie dog bookmarks.

Okay, I need to go back to work. Seriously soon. Obviously, I'm losing it. (I drew that Scottie dog free hand!) I'm also learning that Jessica could really be a professional bookmark model, no?

Here's an update on that sweet potato.

2010-07-21T18:15:00.004-05:00

Remember when Jess and I got a sweet potato but then never ate it. I'm sure you all remember. (That "you all" thing is a joke. The only person reading this is Jessica because I told her I was going to post this.) Well, it was about two years ago, give or take a few weeks. Here's what it looks like now:

I happen to think that, in its antique form, it's sort of an edgy addition to the decor of our lovely little home.

---

On my absence from this blog: Yeah, I just don't really have that much to say. But I'm going to make an effort to write up in here again because I realized just now while perusing old posts with Jess, that if it wasn't for this ol' thing, I wouldn't remember about the time when Jordan rested his hand on the waiter's stomach. Also, it hosts our intern want ad. (We're still hiring! Apply now!) So for posterity's sake.

(The problem is, I'm not completely convinced that it's necessary for anyone to blog anymore since Tavi already blogs, and she does so in such a completely perfect way.)

FYI

2010-03-11T21:11:00.002-06:00

For the second time this week, tonight we gathered the ingredients for making a delicious soup and got half way through the making process before deciding to go out to El Toro instead. The call of chips and salsa, beans, guac, and sour cream is just that compelling.

Yay-uhhh.

when people stop being polite, and start getting real

2010-01-31T12:37:00.003-06:00

In a conversation about what kinds of hobbies we could take up in an effort to make our lives less boring, Jess said this:

"I'm just trying to pass some goddamn time before I fucking die."

big plans

2010-01-30T11:48:00.005-06:00

Sydney and I went on a school-supply quest this morning. We need all these things for our students to learn to write. Except for the pretzels. The pretzels are for eating.

---

"Oh! We could use one of those big containers like the ones they sell cheesy poofs in!"
"Yes!"
"That's a lot of cheesy poofs. Do you eat cheesy poofs? I do not eat cheesy poofs."
"I eat cheesy poofs."

Eoin's birthday present

2010-01-24T21:57:00.000-06:00

I just licked my plate clean.

2010-01-11T21:05:00.002-06:00

In the past eight days, Jessica and I have had this recipe four nights. I cannot stress enough how delicious it is.

ingredients:
3 pints of grape tomatoes
6 shallots, quartered
1 tbl spoon of olive oil
1/2 cup of dry white wine
2 tbl spoons of capers

makin it:
Sautee the shallots in the olive oil for a little while until they get soft and, you know, cooked. Then add the tomatoes. Leave them for a few minutes until two-ish of them burst because of the heat. Then, add the white wine, and wait for it to evaporate. Stir in the capers.

So. Good.

insight

2010-01-11T20:31:00.002-06:00

I received the following playlist from one of my students as part of our totally optional not an assignment class mix CD exchange.

1. "Get Me Bodied" - Beyonce
2. "Flaws and All" - Beyonce
3. "Upgrade" - Beyonce
4. "I'm So In Love" - Beyonce
5. "Vans" - The Pack
6. "Dumb Diddy" - The Pack
7. "Go Stupid" - The Pack
8. "I'm Shining" - The Pack
9. "Promise" - Ciara
10. "Rain On Me" - Ashanti
11. "So Much In Love" - The Tymes
12. "Water Runs Dry" - Boyz II Men
13. a K-Ci & JoJo song the name of which she did not list
14. "Almost" - Timia
15. "Never Had a Friend" - the artist of which is unlisted
16. "Suffocated Like You" - J-Holiday
17. "Love You More Everyday" - Ginuwine
18. "You've Go That Love" - don't know the artist

something I like

2010-01-03T21:13:00.003-06:00

is when people say "correct" to mean "cool." Or "good."

good taste

2010-01-02T23:23:00.006-06:00

So I finally did my grading today. Ugh. So boring. But one interesting thing I noticed was that a significant majority of the students who chose to write about the Tupac Shakur text we read ("Keep Ya Head Up") focused their analysis on the same set of lines:

And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women do we hate our women
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies who make the babies
And since a man can't make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one

These happen to be my favorite lines from the song as well, but our class discussions really didn't go in their direction at all. Or at least not more that they did towards other parts of the song. Maybe it's because discourse on the need to respect women is sort of a common and comfortable thing in terms of what-we-write-for-school. Don't know. It could be the repeated long "a" sound followed by the repeated "woman/en" that drew them all in. That's what does it for me anyway.

No, I have not given up my blog.

2009-12-31T11:29:00.005-06:00

I just didn't have anything to say. But now I do, or at least I have stuff that someone else has said that I feel like posting here. That's something.

From the blog of style rookie, a "Tiny 13 year old dork that sits inside all day wearing awkward jackets and pretty hats. Scatters black petals on Rei Kawakubo's doorsteps and serenades her in rap. I have no where near 4 million readers. Rather cynical and cute as a drained rat. In a sewer. Farting. And spitting out guts.":

People like Anna Piaggi, Lynn Yaeger, Julia Frakes, Isabella Blow, Daphne Guinness, Vivienne Westwood, Iris Apfel, Grace Jones, David Bowie, Little Edie, Diana Vreeland, Bjork, Marchesa Luisa Casati, Catherine Baba, Anna Dello Russo...these people that dress to extremes simply because of a very deep, pure love for fashion...are inspiring to me.

And then people like this girl in FRUiTS, or mad old women, or funny toddlers, who dress for the same reasons and may not even know it's called fashion, inspire me as well. They make me want to write a story using what's in my closet, or in a kitchen cabinet waiting to become some type of headpiece.

And that, in the end, is all I want to do. Use my resources, and just have fun with dressing. Weirdly enough, it's when people anywhere-outside, in school, online-don't understand my outfits or style that motivates me to just be stranger. Not that I think I'm Bob Dylan or some type of ENIGMATIC ARTISTE or an artist at all, but this refusal of others to try and understand why somebody dresses a certain way (for which the real reasons are, in the end, nothing complex) just makes me want to dress more obnoxiously. Be more difficult to understand, more over their heads.

Or, I'm a malicious and spiteful teenager!

But really, I love it when I love my outfit and I walk from class to class and feel like I'm practically floating. My head is bobbing around like Bjork's when she walked for Jean Paul Gaultier and I just feel very confident in myself, not because I think other people will like my outfit but just because I do. And maybe even because I know other people won't like it because it isolates me and I can be in my own world for a bit. And it makes me feel good, and being creative makes me feel good.

And I think that is all I really want to do, and have ever wanted to do. The idea of being a mad eccentric who is constantly slipping into different skins is so appealing to me. I started this blog because I wanted to explore my style. Now I have more of an idea of what it is and will just continue to try and apply it every day.

Now, another reason I started is because I wanted to be part of the fashion blogging community and because I think fashion should be discussed. So let's get a discussion going: What inspires you? What keeps you in love with clothes? What makes you stray from sweatpants every day? Tell me.

I mean, why should I blog when there are teenagers out there who are better at it and have interesting things to say rather than inane things? Writing a story with her clothes? That's good.

If you're going to read any of her posts, I'd start with this one.

And for the record, here's me stylin' out in middle school. How is it possible that she and I could have such relatively similar haircuts and she looks chic and I look like this. Eh? Tell me.

(And that "Tell me," Russian spammers, is not an invitation for more of your shite.)

You can fool some people sometimes,

2009-11-19T06:44:00.002-06:00

but you cyan't fool aaall the people aaaall the time!

highlights of my week:

2009-11-15T17:47:00.003-06:00

1. Moe visited! And the highlight of this highlight was probably our pregaming Apples to Apples. That game. So dumb and yet so fun at the same time.

2. I went to see the school play and chatted during the intermission with an older man behind me who has as his goal to attend five plays a week. Holy shnikees, right? He strongly suggested that I see a play, the title of which escapes me, in which a man dies and then comes back to tell his wife how much he loves her. He also suggested that I think seriously about the impending danger of "that satellite" colliding with "something up there," thereby knocking out every computer in the country including cars. It would set our society back eighty years he guessed. According to his estimation, the cause of this doom is the terrible direction our country is taking what with the removal of religion from so many things.

3. So many of my students are now using textual proof to support their theses and are using correct MLA style when they do it. And they're doing it quite well.

4. Jess made red pesto ravioli for dinner last night.

check out this feedback!

2009-11-08T12:14:00.002-06:00

This morning, in response to a post I put up on this day last year, I received this comment:

фильмы dvd фильмы сериалы диски blu-ray dvd5
[url=http://www.dvd5.com.ua]www.dvd5.com.ua[/url] или [url=http://www.dvd5.com.ua]http://www.dvd5.com.ua[/url]

последние новинки
Идеальный побег / A Perfect Getaway / 2009
Трансформеры: Месть падших / Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen / 2009
Джонни Д / Public Enemies / 2009
Монстри проти чужих / Монстры против пришельцев / Monsters vs Aliens / 2009
Стэн Хельсинг / Stan Helsing / 2009
О, счастливчик! / 2009
Нянька по вызову / The Rebound / 2009
Король Гийом / King Guillaume / 2009
Запрещенная реальность / 2009
Повелители теней / The Telling / 2009
Кража в музее / The Maiden Heist / 2009
Продавец / The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard / 2009
2012: Супернова / 2012: Supernova / 2009
Мой ангел-хранитель / My Sister s Keeper / 2009
Причина основания Китая / Jian guo da ye / 2009
Проклятые воды / Midnight Bayou / 2009
Ласковый май / 2009
Затащи меня в Ад / Drag Me to Hell / 2009
Чудаки / Lascars / 2009
Прошивка / Hardwired / 2009
Парк культуры и отдыха / Adventureland / 2009
Крик совы / The Cry of the Owl / 2009
Побег из ГУЛАГа / So weit die Fuesse tragen (As Far As My Feet Will Carry Me) / 2001
Дорогуша / Cheri / 2009
Крыша / 2009
Суррогаты / Surrogates / 2009
Гарри Поттер и Принц-полукровка / Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince / 2009
Поворот не туда 3 / Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead [UNRATED] / 2009
Луна 2112 / Moon / 2009
Последний день будущего / Evilution / 2008
Опасные пассажиры поезда 123 / The Taking of Pelham 123
Предложение / The Proposal / 2009
Бросок кобры / G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra / 2009
Миссия Дарвина / G-Force / 2009
Каникулы строгого режима / 2009
Бабник / Spread / 2009
Интимные подробности холостяцкой жизни / Cruising Bar 2 / 2008
Невеста любой ценой / 2009
Дитя тьмы / Orphan / 2009
Девять / 9 / 2009
Представь себе / Imagine That / 2009
Звездный путь / Star Trek / 2009
Район №9 / District 9 / 2009

Huh.

What my walk to school looked like today:

2009-10-30T15:41:00.002-05:00

I wish nights were longer.

2009-10-20T06:53:00.002-05:00

Lately when I get up in the morning I feel really sad that the nighttime is over.

Gosh, sometimes I say the dumbest things on this blog. (Hi, Mom!)

But seriously, I want to go back to sleep. It's not that I want the weekend to come because sleep isn't as satisfying on the weekend when I can sleep until whenever I want.

here's something cool

2009-10-18T17:11:00.006-05:00

Here's one thing I love about hip hop: the use of "Aww" or, "Unhhh" as a way of pausing to let the beat catch up or think of something to say, or... I don't know... lots of things.

For example, in "D.O.A." (see below), Jay Z uses it twenty-four times. I counted. I think it really contributes something awesome to the song, and I'm not being facetious.

Here's another good example:

hott

2009-10-14T19:33:00.004-05:00

Why yes, that is a zebra-print snuggie.

eeyow

2009-10-11T21:45:00.006-05:00

I hate that feeling where I'm trying to think of something and/or anything to say, and five or ten really dumb ideas click through my brain, get evaluated and quickly rejected, and I'm thinking, "Shiiiit... we should be talking right now. This is awkward. Fuck fuck fuck." And I really hate it even more when, in a situation like this, someone else says, "Well, this is awkward," because that's one of the dumb things to say that clicks through and should be rejected because it doesn't lessen the pressure on the other person (or the rest of the group) to be socially brilliant, or even just socially adept. It just outs them as being awkward, and I don't think that's advisable in terms of creating positive vibes. You know?

good one

2009-10-04T12:45:00.000-05:00

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate.... Returning violence for violence multiples violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, 1967

It's a stroganoff party and EVERYONE'S invited!

2009-09-28T21:09:00.001-05:00

It's a stroganoff party and EVERYONE'S invited!
STROGANOFF!
We're
all
gonna
eat
beef STROGANOFF!

riddle me this

2009-09-16T17:28:00.003-05:00

What's up with all the gnats in Urbana? I need windshield wipers on my glasses.

oh yes

2009-09-15T19:22:00.007-05:00

Lucky for me, students at my school go down to the auditorium to take their yearbook photos during their English classes once a year. Today was that day, and oh man is it awesome to watch people take their yearbook photos. Big, toothy, ridiculous grins. Weird, toothless, stretched-lip smiles that pose as real smiles but are just weird facial expressions. Kids who "don't smile for pictures." All of this stuff is great. And that's before you even consider the photographer's directions to "turn your head just a little that way," or "shoulders back."

You might be thinking that this doesn't sound funny, and if so, you might also be forgetting how cool the average fifteen-year-old is trying to look most of the time. And you might be the kind of person who, admirably, doesn't take just a little bit of pleasure in watching awkward but harmless self-consciousness.

I assure you; it's funny.

I even had one student who intentionally tried all these "model" poses (eg. fist under the chin, arms crossed and looking over one shoulder, lips pursed into a kissy face, etc.) while the increasingly frustrated photographer humorlessly repeated, "You can't do that... can't do that either... can't do that either..."

Every time I watch this, I laugh out loud at Bill's face at the end.

Can I just say

2009-09-12T16:04:00.002-05:00

that I am so so so so so so so so so glad that I became a teacher. Really, it's so fun.

"I wish I knew."

2009-09-12T16:03:00.001-05:00

Why is public transportation so intriguing?

2009-09-11T19:20:00.001-05:00

Jealous. So jealous.

one of my favorite scenes ever

2009-09-06T13:31:00.003-05:00

In a TV show, a movie, a book, in life, wherever, like, seriously, ever.

more socialist cult-recruiting dangerous people and penguins... WOOT!

2009-09-04T21:18:00.010-05:00

Even Nascar is drinking the cyanide-laced red Kool-Aid!

---

Four posts in one day. Yeah.

just a guess

2009-09-04T20:55:00.005-05:00

Starting sometime this past summer, I started noticing "ROTC DISCRIMINATES AGAINST GAY STUDENTS" chalked around the quad intermittently. And today I saw this:

Looks like someone blotted out the G, Y, and S so that it looks like it says "ROTC DISCRIMINATES AGAINST A STUDENT."

I really am not familiar with what's going on behind all this, but if I had to guess, I'd say that The Second Chalker (or rather, The Blotter), is trying to tell the story that one gay person was denied admission to the ROTC program and is now being a whiner about it. Again, just a guess, based on what I've seen and heard with somewhat similar stuff.

How wack. To assert that members of the LGBT community are not discriminated against in military (and many other) contexts -- yeah right. When Cornel West was here he said something about how scoffing at political correctness only trivializes the sufferings of other people. I'd say same goes for denying the existence of systemic inequity.

Let's be real: Senator Russell is a hater.

2009-09-04T20:04:00.009-05:00

Now, the way I understand Obama's upcoming speech to American students is that it will be a talk "on the importance of [students] taking responsibility for their education, challenging them to set goals and do everything they can to succeed," as is indicated on whitehouse.gov.

And I don't claim to be unbiased. On the contrary, I'm crazy about President Obama. I'm pretty sure I've made that clear.

That said, I think I'm being fair and rational when I say that Oklahoma's Senator Steve Russell's incendiary comments about the speech as an attempt at the Obamian indoctrination of American school children are irresponsibly hyperbolic. I don't mean that I don't I hear what he's saying; I see how a speech to children during school hours could be interpreted in that way. I really do.

But it's spoken like someone who has no idea how education works. Students' brains are not empty vessels into which grown-ups ideas are poured. In my experience, for many students, and especially students of color, Obama's political success is inspiring. Many of my students even think he is cool, if their wearing of his face on their t-shirts and shoes is any indication of such a thing. Many, but not all. And for those who don't consider him an inspiring leader or a cool guy, I'd bet that his speech Tuesday morning will give them an opportunity to practice their critical analysis skills. Afterwards, they can practice argumentation with their Obama-worshiping peers. And if that happens, that's when the learning -- for both the "believers" and "non-believers" -- will take place, not while they're listening to Obama's lecture. They've heard that "School is Cool" thing a million times. Sure, they might find it interesting to be spoken to and not about by our nation's leader, but I assure you: students are not passive receivers of knowledge. It just doesn't work that way.

Russell complained that the planned speech, "gives the appearance of creating a cult of personality." Okay, so he gets some face-time on the TV sets in the classroom as he tries to send positive and encouraging messages to our kids. Again, I really do see what he's getting at. But, again. Come on now. Obama as a concept has been a major force in pop culture for a while now. For various reasons, he has been an impressive draw for young people. Part of it, for sure is the way he's been marketed. Absolutely, he's trendy; I've already admitted my kids think he's cool. But it's fairly insulting to my own intelligence as well as insulting my students' intelligence to suggest that all of us youngens have been hoodwinked by him and his people. Y'know, it's possible that we might genuinely agree that all people who are sick deserve to be able to go to the doctor and receive quality treatment.

And finally, his claim that the speech is "is akin to something you would see in North Korea or under Saddam Hussein's Iraq" is just plain-old outrageously off. He going to speak about the importance reducing the drop-out rate. Last time I checked, we didn't invade Iraq because too many students were staying in school.

making it up to Kasey

2009-09-04T07:01:00.004-05:00

Here are five reasons why if Kasey had been here last Sunday, my morning would have been more awesome:

1. We could have had some good jokes about my White Liberal purchases from the Farmer's Market that I was eating for brunch.
2. We could have orchestrated a grand pie-ing of Jessica in the face even though the spur of the moment quick squirt with whipped cream was funny.
3. We could have read books.
4. We could have walked to the mall which we haven't done in a long time and should do soon before it gets too cold.
5. We could have found a really good Board-Shorts-Tacos recipe for Sunday night dinner instead of the boring recipe that I used.

mmhm

2009-09-01T18:08:00.002-05:00

"Maaaan, we doin too much in here."

I like the sounds of that. I think we're doing just enough.

Could I BE having a better Sunday morning?

2009-08-30T08:18:00.005-05:00

1. Ani DiFranco Pandora station (forgot how much I love her)
2. productivity on grad school application and district funding application
3. fresh pot of coffee since I cleaned the mold out of the machine yesterday afternoon
4. windows open and air cool enough to be able to wear a sweatshirt and pants
5. good lesson plans written for the week
6. grocery shopping done
7. up early enough to do all of this and still be able to get over to church for the first time in a long time
8. little brother coming to visit esta noche
9. Alex and Jessica coming back today, too

The answer is definitively no. This morning could not be any better.
Man, I used to hate Sundays in college.

Well!

2009-08-25T19:31:00.000-05:00

Now that's a good word.

my response to

2009-08-24T22:04:00.000-05:00

you, Cassie:

Here's Alex' team playing soccer

2009-08-22T14:45:00.003-05:00

whilst the apocalypse looms.

shockingly shameless

2009-08-22T13:59:00.008-05:00

Check out two of the most popular articles on the Time website right now:

Ex-Wives and Others Eagerly Await UBS Tax-Cheater List
Michelle Obama and the Shorts Heard Round the World

Sorry for being so unladylike (...NOT), but what the FUCK.

Maybe if the one about offshore bank accounts had any sort of statistic -- gosh, even some sort of unconvincing "fact" even -- to back up their presumption that the holders of such are men, then maybe that sort of shit wouldn't be so outrageously fucking sexist, but even then, probably no. I find that woman as sort of bitter, ruthless, gold-digger bullshit incredibly offensive. In fact, I actually feel kind of personally insulted by this suggestion. And y'know what, the article is pretty heteronormative, too, huh?

Maybe it's because I read this article after reading about how Michelle Obama "just didn't look particularly good in shorts. Her arms are much admired. her legs are just, you know, legs." I've posted before about how infuriating it is to me the way the media so often belittles Mrs. Obama, but this shit is... GOSH.

I mean, the way this article ends sounds like it was written in the 1950s. Srsly.

For women, Michelle's shorts were long on significance. They give accomplished, glamorous people license to do what the power brokers at Vogue do, and that is to wear whatever the hell they like sometimes. So, ladies, get out your least flattering outfits — your terry shorts, your oversize T-shirt, those extra comfortable arch-supporting shoes — and wear them with pride. All the fashionable women are doing it.

Oh, really? I can? *bats eyelids* Thanks! *punches Time Magazine in the face.*

on being a townie

2009-08-21T23:44:00.006-05:00

I don't like being a townie. It's taken a lot of the anonymity out of living in this place.

When I used to walk on the quad as a student, I would marvel at just how many classmates I had. I would think about the fact that I would probably never see some of the faces that I was passing again even though myself and the strangers around me were all so familiar with the same campus landscapes.

Now, though, it's easier for me to see how everyone is connected. I run into a student and/or a parent nearly every single time I go to the grocery store, for example, but it's not just people from work. I mean this in the least I'm-a-big-deal way possible, but it just seems like I've started to know a lot of people around here and they all know each other, too, for various reasons.

I can definitely see how this could be construed as a good thing. Sometimes, I do like it. Like the other day, I ran into the parents of one of my students while we were all volunteering at a food pantry that we were invited to by a good friend of mine. That was kinda cool, real community-like, y'know.

That said, I'm just not a smalltown person, and this place doesn't even qualify as a small town. It's not really to do with those kind of stereotypical everybody-knows-everybody's business issues -- and Lord knows it's not because any majority of people are stereotypically conservative over here. I'd just really much rather feel my insignificance in obvious ways every day, the way I feel while riding public transportation in a city, for example.

I almost can't believe I'm saying that; what, I want to teach in a big ol' impersonal school district where I don't have any valued input into the way things work? to live in a place where any kind of positive contribution I make to my community could only be so relatively tiny as to almost be pointless? where it's maybe easier for people to dehumanize one another since there's less of a chance that they'll have to interact with one another meaningfully?

It doesn't make sense when I really think about it, but really, sometime relatively soon I'm going to make a move towards someplace where I can feel a little less known. It'll be good for my level of modesty.

(ha. Ask anyone in Champaign-Urbana. My name rings out here. Right...)

Is my new blog title photo hipster-ish?

2009-08-19T22:11:00.003-05:00

Cassie, that question is directed at you. I'm genuinely unsure of whether or not I am a hipster, but I don't think I am. That being said, the article you posted noted that part of being a hipster is denying that you are a hipster, so now I don't know what to think.

brain is on overload

2009-08-19T18:35:00.004-05:00

I'm pretty excited for school to start. I've been working in my classroom a lot -- setting up, selecting materials, making copies, writing plans, trying to be preemptive about dealing with the annoying parts of teaching like constantly having to catch up kids who have been out the day before. More pleasant has been skimming back over the stuff I've read this summer in preparation for trying something new with writing instruction, and getting re-energized with all of the good ideas I came across and now get to try out with Real Live Teenagers.

So far I've had the seemingly compulsory:
"How's your summer been?"
"Pretty good! How's yours?"
"Oh, great. Too short of course. Ha. Ha. Ha."
conversation quite a few times this week. So boring. I wonder if every workplace is as riddled with this conversation as mine is. During the school year, it happens every Monday, and has a hyper-presence after any 3- or 4-day weekend or fall or spring break. I've also had some genuinely-happy-to-see-you conversations with colleagues I know a little better and really like.

I want to start a The Wire watching group that gets together twice a month or something and watches a couple episodes and then discusses over beers or coffee or pizza or caramels. I suppose Kasey, Jessica, and I could do this but (1) Kasey and I pretty much agree on everything besides the relative importance of Americorps, and (2) Jessica would think it was boring. Maybe there's one on campus.

I'm actually looking forward to cashiering for Dump and Run this weekend. (And anybody in town -- if anyone is still reading this -- should come and spend cash money. Lots of cool stuff this year.) Doing so reminds me of the Saturdays and weeknights I used to spend working with my Dad in the concession stand at St. Laurence High School football and basketball games. All the hotdogs with delicious just-add-water onions I could eat.

Old movies, why must you hate so?

2009-08-16T11:16:00.005-05:00

Last night I watched An Affair to Remember on TV. I'd been meaning to watch it for a while. I generally like old movies like that, even when I don't like them, since the dialogue sounds so funny. Not funny haha, just funny odd. I think it's cool to see how different they are from movies now.

It goes like this: Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr meet on an ocean liner headed back to New York from a nondescript European location. Grant is a world-famous lady-killer on his way home to marry a filthy rich heiress and thus secure his lavish lifestyle; Kerr is the poor-but-beautiful-nightclub-singer-turned-housewife-in-training of some wealthy New York businessman. Aboard, they fall in love, much to the gossipy amusement of their fellow passengers and the ship's photographer who acts a bit like a modern-day paparazzi. (Actually, they really get into one another when the ship is docked for a few hours near his grandmother's home and they go and visit her. What I want to know is where the hell they are supposed to be docked. They get there after at least one, maybe two nights aboard the ship. It's tropical, and you sort of get the sense that her late husband was some sort of colonial official. But what tropical destinations lie two-days' journey away from Europe on the way to New York City? It is a movie, I realize.) Anyway, they decide that they want to be together forever, so they vow to meet one another at the top of the Empire State Building in six months, giving them enough time to break it off with their current beaus and enough time to do some hard work and save some money on their own. When the evening of the meeting finally arrives, he's *SPOILER ALERT* there waiting, but she gets hit by a car as she's rushing up to meet him. He's humiliated; she's in the hospital, unable to walk again; they're both heartbroken. The rest of the movie sorts out whether or not they'll end up together.

That's probably when I should have turned the movie off.

See, now she has to become a teacher (Oh! The horror! What a tragedy!), so she teaches music at a Catholic elementary school. There's an unnecessarily long scene in which she's directing the choir, and all of the lovely little children are singing about resisting temptation, blah, blah, blah, and there are lots of little solos built into the oh-so-cute song so that the camera can close-in on their adorable little up-turned faces. Then, for the first time in the scene that's been going about three minutes, the camera pans over two Black children's faces just in time for them to part through the choir from the back row to the front to do some silly minstrel-like dance and sing-song verse that's totally separate from the song's melody. (Y'know, it's not unlike McCauley Culkin's little "rap" in the middle of MJ's "Black or White" video, now that I think about it.)

The kids are back a few scenes later to visit their beloved teach while she rests at home (or maybe it's in a hospital?). This time, the Black boy gets to open the scene for he children by asking, "Is she going to be okay, Doc?" only to be quickly corrected by the children's accompanying priest, "Call him, Doctor!" How dare that boy not codeswitch!

I googled around a little bit looking for commentary on these ridiculous, racist, and highly removable scenes, but couldn't really find much. There were several reviewers who suggested that the scenes with the children were unnecessary inasmuch as they distract from the shmoopie love story.

And as if that shit weren't enough to make this movie a "not" for me, much of the justification for the lovers' agonizing separation after their fateful missed connection is that of course she can't tell him that she's disabled! How terrible and disgusting and unlovable! Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

a fitting finale, I guess

2009-08-09T17:55:00.002-05:00

this penis building in Ypsilante, MI:

the midwest leg

2009-08-07T17:50:00.005-05:00

In Ann Arbor, MI, they have the first Borders ever:
The door is newly purpled at Cassie's house in Ann Arbor:

Here's the restaurant in Cleveland where we ate breakfast lunch and where Harvey Pekar eats. I might have seen him, but I don't know what he looks like:

unsafe driving

2009-08-06T22:09:00.003-05:00

between Elkton, MD and Cleveland, OH

The thing about driving on the express way is that you have to have, I think, an inordinate amount of trust in the people driving in front of and behind you. I don't have that kind of trust. I get really nervous when anyone gets close to me at all when I'm driving because how the hell do I know that they are not going to slam on their breaks or ram into the back of the car I'm driving. Maybe it won't even be accidental; maybe it will be some kind of intentional but random terrible car-crashing. This is what I'm thinking about when I'm driving for hours and hours these days. I'm thinking about how remarkable it is that all of the people driving around me are kind enough and talented enough not to crash into Cassie's car even though they could at any second.

My Dad taught us that our family motto is, "Trust but verify," which is probably why I'm thinking this.

the city of brotherly love

2009-08-05T19:19:00.005-05:00

Cassie, looking so tiny:

a delicious cheesesteak:

Apparently, there are hundreds of murals in Philadelphia, but we only saw a few. This one's dedicated to the work of W.E.B. DuBois in Philly:

In the Dumpster Divers' Art Gallery on South Street. This piece is called screwing Yellow Hill. There's a handwritten description of the piece by the author right there in which he explains that everything here is litter he picked up on Yellow Hill and lamenting the carelessness of litterers in Yellow Hill:

lots of blue things in the Dumpster Divers Gallery:

still more Dumpster Diven stuff:

South Street, Philly. Home to really freaking sweet thrift stores:

Arriving into Philadelphia, PA. I like this city:

Southward, ho!

2009-08-04T23:06:00.002-05:00

Cassie on Pleasant Beach in I think Connecticut:

At the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston, they have an exhibit of the work of Shepard Fairey, the guy who did that Obama poster, and TONS of other cool stuff. But I couldn't take photos in the gallery so I took a photo of this in the lobby:

They also have this really sweet computer lab that's angles downward like an auditorium but with no stage, just a window that shows you that you're sitting out over the harbor:

And here's Cass and I standing in the lobby:

can'tstopwon'tstop

2009-08-03T22:27:00.005-05:00

According to Josh, "the most important landmark in Boston" is this Citgo sign:
artist, Cassie Jo Cleary:

The belltower in which Paul Revere signaled one if by land and two if by sea:

Looking out the window of the oldest bar in America:

Look at all these 21st Century folk eschewing the all those old fashioned reference books in favor of the World Wide Web (even though using those books would require using that cool ladder!):

inside the Boston Public Library:

same thing:

goto

2009-08-03T22:17:00.004-05:00

I was going to write about the "show" we saw in NYC, but then Cassie did. Articulately and eloquently. So I don't feel the need to anymore.

I've also been planning on writing some long, boring post about the purpose of travel. It occurred to me when we were wandering around in the Guggenheim that we spend a lot of time and money going places to use our eyes on new, cool stuff. And not just our eyes, I know. We also use our noses, ears, fingers, and tongues on new, cool stuff. And pretty much that's why we travel? I don't think so. But I really don't feel like writing any further since I'm already painfully aware of how dumb I'm making myself out to be right now.

Also, we're probably not going to Delaware now, so I won't have a chance to post this video clip and write, "Hi. I'm in Delaware." unless I do so now.

explanation

2009-08-03T14:34:00.002-05:00

In a paper on Josh's coffee table I found this sentence:

In reality, we're only as free as our genes are pliable in the slosh of our developmental milieus.

AAAAAhahahahahahahaha.

more fone fotos

2009-08-03T11:01:00.008-05:00

In backwards order of taking.

Harvard flags that use textspeak (the last of which is incomprehensible to me):
(UPDATE: Cassie says that we do know what it means. That it means "May the force be with you," but I'm not convinced because no one says that about going to class. Josh suggested that it could mean "May the fish be wet underwater," which is also true. I still don't know what it means.)

haha. "FUCK!" in Harvard Square:

Their campus is okay but our quad's WAY better:

Cassie's favorite:

"really bad Portuguese music" according to our hosts:

lots of lights and flags for the Portuguese festival, The Feast of the Blessed Sacrament in New Bedford, Massachusetts:

Apparently, this town is really Portuguese because when the New England whalers would go looking for help for their whaling missions, the currents of the Atlantic take boats from New Bedford, MA straight to the islands off of Portugal and then right back to New Bedford. Huh.:

the mills and small beach in New Bedford:

more to come on this fellow later (preview: OMG.)

the theater where we saw the worst piece of theater ever theatered:

Spanish Harlem:

graffiti wall of fame at 106th and Park:

Off camera this looks more like "ASS TRANSPORTATION." I had to take a picture because of the connection I felt with my favorite part of Sister Act II, when Sister Mary Clarence is standing in front of the door to where she'll be teaching and it says "MUSIC ASSROOM."

a community garden in East Harlem:

part of my favorite exhibit at the Studio Museum Harlem, a collection of photography by area high school students:

cross-stitch in the Studio Museum Harlem!:

the Apollo:

the library at Colombia's main campus, which I saw on my way to the Teachers College bookstore:

cell phone photos of NYC

2009-07-30T21:06:00.009-05:00

in order from last taken to first taken while here

drooping > sagging:

hard to see, but this is a fire hydrant busted and flooding the street:

I think this is inordinately funny:

"It's the B to the R the O the O-K, L-Y-N that's the place where I stay" NOT:

We could see this lady's butt:

someone not afraid of heights wrote that:

the Brooklyn Bridge, as cool as everyone said it would be, I think:

so many plastic bottles:

Hi, Cassie:

This photo doesn't do justice to the hecticity of this sitchiation:

a WTC memorial in Greenwich Village:

I'm crazy about the font used for the 168th STREET sign

Coming off the Jersey Turnpike onto the Washington Bridge. I was SO EXCITED.

Now, when you say "nasty," what exactly do you mean?

2009-07-28T08:28:00.003-05:00

Looking for a place to stay. Not this place I guess? (Even though we were parked in front of it, and I was using the wireless from their office to check them out online.)

run-ons

2009-07-23T09:42:00.003-05:00

He felt that he had fallen on the soft and thick cushion while his body, light
and weightless, had been run through by a sweet feeling of beatitude and
fatigue and was losing consciousness of its own material structure, that heavy,
earthy substance that defined it, placing it in an unmistakable spot on the
zoological scale and bearing a whole sum of systems, geometrically defined organs
that lifted him up on the arbitrary hierarchy of rational animals. His
eyelids, docile now, fell over his corneas the same natural way with which his
arms and legs mingled in a gathering of members that were slowly losing their
independence, as if the whole organism had turned into one, single, large, total
organism, and he --the man-- had abandoned his mortal roots so as to penetrate
other, deeper and firmer, roots: the eternal roots of an integral and definitive
dream. Outside, from the other side of the world, he could hear the
cricket's song growing weaker until it disappeared from his senses, which had
turned inward, submerging him in a new and uncomplicated notion of time and
space, erasing the presence of that material world, physical and painful, full of
insects and acrid smells of violets and formaldehyde.

Three sentences from "The Other Side of Death" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, one of the stories in a collection of his that I'm currently reading. These kinds of sentences are common in Marquez's work, and I generally really like anything he's written. But they're so long, WTF. It takes me awhile to sink down into (and I really think that's the best way of phrasing what needs to happen for me to understand his work) his writing. It's just so different from how I use language myself, slow-moving maybe. Any one who knows me well knows that I generally do things as quickly as I can. Sometimes when I'm just washing dishes or getting dressed I get out of breath from moving too fast. (Also, I'm out of shape, apparently.)

I can't articulate exactly why, but this need to adjust my language-intaking-process reminds me of this project that I just did this summer. I'll be thinking some more about this.

"It works like a web."

2009-07-23T09:24:00.003-05:00

At a meeting yesterday for the local version of the Illinois Safe Schools Alliance, I got to listen in on the teen members' planning of a social event for members of the GSAs (Gay Straight Alliances) from various high schools in East Central Illinois (and those students from schools without GSAs who would be in GSA if they could).

When it came to advertisement, one of the teachers there wanted to know, if the plan was to blanket the coffee shops and other teen hangouts in Champaign-Urbana with flyers, how would they get the word to students who aren't in our area?

One of the teens from a Champaign high school explained, "Oh, we'll use Facebook. It kinda works as a web. So if I invite one person from Paxton, they'll invite others..."

Kids these days, huh? I'm crazy about moments like that when I get to see a kid explain to an adult, especially if the "adult" is me. I also think that the tone, pace and words that the explainer uses are sometimes funny. The talk slows down and becomes sort of gentle as the explainer thinks of "old" things to use for comparison: "Well, there are these things called blogs, y'see, and they're like journals, only on the World Wide Web for all to see!"

Wikipedia update

2009-07-10T14:30:00.006-05:00

The last time I used Wikipedia (to look up an unrelated subject) I had a message waiting for me regarding my recent alteration of the Mother McAuley page. "Unconstructive" seems a little harsh. Also, I don't even think it's a real word.

!

2009-07-07T12:36:00.005-05:00

I just finished reading Lies My Teacher Told Me which I'd heard a lot about in the last few years. I was surprised to see that it was actually published thirteen years ago.

I learned that the first Thanksgiving was actually in 1863; Lincoln proclaimed the third Thursday in November to be Thanksgiving because they were in the middle of the Civil War, and he sensed that the Union could use an upswell in patriotism. Just the kind of thing that an origin story celebration could do.

Huh.

I learned other stuff, too.

"Hey guy, nice pajamas."

2009-07-02T09:06:00.001-05:00

"They're O.R. scubs."

"O.R. they?"

tired trope, nasty clothes

2009-07-01T11:23:00.003-05:00

Takes all kinds.

2009-06-30T14:55:00.001-05:00

still kinda sad

2009-06-30T14:44:00.002-05:00

This is one of the few reasonable (albeit fairly angry) tributes I've seen to MJ that didn't strictly consist of clips of his videos and performances. (Which do speak a lot for themselves, I must admit.)

and by the way

2009-06-25T21:23:00.001-05:00

Here's the person who deleted my entry to the McAuley page.

MJ

2009-06-25T20:48:00.003-05:00

The first tape I ever owned: Dangerous. I asked my mom to get it for me, and she brought home (from the grocery store) Thriller. I was devastated (What did I know?) because I really, really wanted to be able to listen to "Black or White" (Shocker.) whenever I wanted to. Mom exchanged it for me.

update (9:06 pm): For the record I had never seen this video until just now. No cable in our house in the 1990s, no MTV. This is one of the most WHAT. things I have ever seen.

Wiki-FuckingWithia

2009-06-25T10:21:00.003-05:00

In response to a really cool presentation on using wikis in the classroom by one of the other teachers in my class, I added myself to McAuley's wikipedia page. Wonder how long it will last.

more borrowing of other people's writing

2009-06-19T09:38:00.001-05:00

from one of the respectable writers for The Daily Illini

(I'm freaking out about these proposed budget cuts.)

Ill. institutionalization should be abolished

Katie Dunne

October 7th, 2008 - 12:00 AM

Imagine that your home is an old brick building that houses 300 people. You've grown accustomed to the stark white hallways and dull living spaces, but you'll never get used to that stench of urine. Meal times are scheduled, rules are posted, and dissent is not tolerated. During the most intimate activities of daily life - showering, using the bathroom, having sex - you are supervised by a complete stranger, and there is nothing you can do about it. Imagine your life without a voice.

There are thousands of citizens in Illinois that don't have to imagine; this is their reality. They are not prisoners. They committed no crimes. They were simply born with developmental disabilities.

In 2004, the state of Illinois spent nearly $350 million (about $120,000 per person) operating public institutions for people with DD. Most residents did not choose this living arrangement and do not need 24-hour care. Many could live in the community with appropriate support and services for less than $40,000 per year.

But Illinois refuses to progress. It refuses to do what makes sense, both economically and ethically. It refuses to close large, state-operated facilities, as many other states have done. Instead, Illinois relies entirely on institutionalization, which leaves us ranked 51st in the nation for providing community living arrangements for people with disabilities (out of 50 states and Washington, D.C.). Providing humane and dignified services is simply not a priority. Legislative victories are far more important.

In 2004, Gov. Blagojevich agreed to reopen Lincoln Developmental Center, which had been closed for poor treatment of its residents, in exchange for votes on his pension plan in the General Assembly.

Lincoln, which was described by the Chicago Tribune as a "monstrous, money-chomping, isolated institution," is a gem compared to Howe Developmental Center in Tinley Park, Ill. Between September 2004 and July 2008, 23 people died at Howe, and autopsies were never conducted. The institution remained open.

The neglect and abuse continued. One resident at Howe was sent to the hospital with a mouthful of cigarette butts and treated for nicotine poisoning.

The federal government soon got involved, federal funding was pulled, and the U.S. Department of Justice launched an investigation of human rights abuses. Finally, three weeks ago, the state declared its intention to close the facility. Twenty-three deaths we can handle, but we'll do whatever it takes to avoid bad press.

In Illinois, people with disabilities are treated as second-class citizens. They are herded into institutions and given remedial jobs in "workshops" that are often far below their ability levels. They are paid less than minimum wage, often less than one dollar a day, which is completely legal based on the Fair Labor Standards Act. (Ironic name, huh?)

So what can we do to change?

The state of Illinois must end its policy of segregation. The ultimate goal of the state should be closure of publicly operated institutions in favor of community-based living options, which are more cost efficient and provide a better quality of life for people with disabilities.

In addition, the state should comply with national standards for care and services. If we follow the federal government's rules, we can maximize federal funding.

"Money Follows the Person," a federal funding program, should be implemented in Illinois. Today, if an individual chose to move out of an institution, he would lose his state funding. If money followed the person, he could use his funding to pay for an apartment, transportation, and a personal assistant. A "Money Follows the Person" program would give individuals more options and allow for greater independence.

Many people with disabilities imagine achieving this independence. They imagine living on their own, working in the community, hiring their direct support staff, and leading a fulfilling life. They imagine having a voice.

The state of Illinois can make this a reality if it reexamines its priorities and makes a commitment to systemic change. Let's stop imagining and give people with disabilities the rights they deserve.

perspective

2009-06-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

South African rape survey shock

One in four South African men questioned in a survey said they had raped someone and nearly half admitted having attacked more than one victim.

The study, by the country's Medical Research Council, also found three out of four who admitted rape attacked for the first time while in their teens.

It said practices such as gang rape were common because they were considered a form of male bonding.

The MRC spoke to 1,738 men in KwaZulu-Natal and Eastern Cape provinces.

The research was conducted in both rural and urban areas and included all racial groups.

Using an electronic device to keep the results anonymous, the study found that 73% of respondents said they had carried out their first assault before the age of 20.

Almost half who said they had carried out a rape admitted they had done so more than once.

One in 20 men surveyed said they had raped a woman or girl in the last year.

Professor Rachel Jewkes of the MRC, who carried out the research, told the BBC's World Today programme: "The absolute imperative is we have to change the underlying social attitudes that in a way have created a norm that coercing women into sex is on some level acceptable.

"We know that we have a higher prevalence of rape in South Africa than there is in other countries.

"And it's partly rooted in our incredibly disturbed past and the way that South African men over the centuries have been socialised into forms of masculinity that are predicated on the idea of being strong and tough and the use of force to assert dominance and control over women, as well as other men."

She added that all the victims in the main survey were said to be women, but participants were also interviewed about male rape.

'Sad state of affairs'

The study found that one in 10 men said they had been raped by other men.

“ I don't think it's cultural per se; I think it has to do with how a lot of us men worldwide were raised ”
Mbuyiselo Botha South African Men's Forum

Some 3% of the men interviewed said they had coerced a man or a boy into sex.

The participants were also tested for HIV and the authors of the survey were surprised that men who had raped were not more likely to test positive for the virus.

Mbuyiselo Botha, from the South African Men's Forum, which campaigns for women's rights, told the BBC's Focus on Africa programme that any view of women as "fair game" had to be challenged.

Mr Botha, a father of two girls himself, said: "I think that yes, the figures are that high and for us, for me in particular, that is a very sad state of affairs.

"It means that we continue in South Africa to be one of the highest capitals of rape in the world.

"I don't think it's cultural per se; I think it has to do with how a lot of us men worldwide were raised. The issues of dominance against women, issues of inequality, are pervasive and you find them throughout the world."

South Africa's government has been repeatedly criticised for failing to address the country's rape epidemic.

A recent trade union report said a child was being raped in South Africa every three minutes with the vast majority of those cases going unreported.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/africa/8107039.stm

Published: 2009/06/18 17:06:27 GMT

© BBC MMIX

love/hate

2009-06-15T21:44:00.007-05:00

I seriously can't believe how much I get into this Heidi and Spencer thing. Kasey told me, rightly, that I'm part of the problem. I just find them so intriguing. I mean, come on, in response to a question as to whether he and Heidi are as famous as Barack Obama, Spencer suggested that they were tied, but only because Obama lives in the White House (Yeah. That's why Obama's significant.) Ambitious dude he is, though, he continued, "Pratt-Palin 2015!"

Um, what the fuck are you running for in 2015?

I know that I should despise these two, and I do despise the inclination I have towards this kind of media, but inclination I do have. It's like, we've now hit rock bottom or something. And I can't stop watching. The 21st century shit that we take in cannot get worse than this. It just can't. That's why I'm getting while it's hot.

I have a new blog.

2009-06-15T13:55:00.001-05:00

I'll post to both. Here's the new one; it's for a class.

cell phone shots

2009-06-11T18:07:00.013-05:00

Good morning!

2009-06-11T09:42:00.004-05:00

I woke up this morning at about 8:30, grabbed my book, and headed out to the hammock in Arianne's yard. I quickly sat down, and quickly flipped the hammock upside down, tumbling off and landing on my ass a yard or so away. Whoopsie-doosie.

I miss Alabama.

2009-06-08T10:18:00.004-05:00

I'm incredibly excited to be getting ready to leave for New Orleans to spend a few days with Arianne. And excited again at the prospect of getting to visit Melissa and Josh later this summer. My time in Alabama was seriously one of the most important learning experiences I've had, for countless reasons, not the least of which was the intelligent, ambitious, and remarkably compassionate friends I made. Just impressively thoughtful and action-oriented people. (So impressive, one might be inclined to think that they can't party. But, oh no. They can.) I mean, check out Chris' latest blog entry. (And this from a guy whose nickname I shall not include here.)

on (I think) my 21st birthday

a second year teacher! (almost)

2009-06-04T18:54:00.004-05:00

One more day with students, then a record-keeping day is all that's let of the 08.09 school year. Yikes.

We're not required to completely clean out our classrooms for the summer, but I'm going to because I want to try something new with my setup for next year.

In fact, I can't wait to do lots of things differently next year.

Some suggestions from a book I just read about how to "change radically the nature of the existing school environment":

1. Declare a five-year moratorium on the use of all textbooks.
2. Have "English" teachers "teach" Math, Math teachers English, Social Studies teachers Science, Science teachers Art, and so on.
3. Transfer all the elementary-school teachers to high school and vice versa.
4. Require every teacher who thinks he knows his "subject" to write a book on it.
5. Dissolve all "subjects," "courses," "and especially "course requirements."
6. Limit each teacher to three declarative sentences per class, and 15 interrogatives.
7. Prohibit teachers from asking any questions they already know the answers to.
8. Declare a moratorium on all tests and grades.
9. Require all teachers to undergo some form of psychotherapy as part of their in-service training.
10. Classify teachers according to their ability and make the lists public.
11. Require all teachers to take a test prepared by students on what students know.
12. Make every class elective and withhold a teacher's monthly check if his students do now show any interest in going to next month's classes.
13. Require every teacher to take a one-year leave of absence every fourth year to work in some "field" other than education.
14. Require each teacher to provide some sort of evidence that he or she has had a loving relationship with at least one other human being.
15. Require that all graffiti accumulated in the school toilets be reproduced on large paper and be hung in the school halls.

The Subversive in the book title mostly refers to thinking about education as a way to work towards more just social systems of power rather than reproducing the current systems of power. That said, I rather like thinking subversively about some of the walking-power-trip, I'm-a-teacher-because-of-the-summers-off type dirty rats at work.

Hey, by the way, did you know that teaching is a low-stress occupation? What kind of sick joke is that.

my thoughts exactly

2009-05-28T09:43:00.001-05:00

Thank you, Mr. Buckles.

not delightful

2009-05-26T09:38:00.001-05:00

Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass is a decidedly less pleasant read. Stomach ache.

delightful

2009-05-25T13:24:00.005-05:00

I really can't imagine a better afternoon than the one I'm having, curled up in the armchair by the window, thinking about maybe making some French onion soup for lunch, and reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera. I love this book. When I read One Hundred Years of Solitude, it took me about a month. I liked it a lot, but I could only get into it for short amounts of time. I think that there's something intimidating about Marquez's super-long chapters. But I started this book Friday and I only have forty pages left.

I mean, there's something absolutely compelling about a passage like this, in which the perpetually-constipated protagonist shits his pants because he's so surprised by the sudden responsiveness of the object of his fifty-plus years' unrequited love:

Florentino Ariza thanked her, bid an urgent farewell with his hat, and left without tasting the coffee. She stood in the middle of the drawing room, puzzled, not understanding what had just happened, until the sound of his automobile's backfiring faded at the end of the street. Then Florentino Ariza shifted into a less painful position in the back seat, closed his eyes, relaxed his muscles, and surrendered to the will of his body. It was like being reborn. The driver, who after so many years in his service was no longer surprised at anything, remained impassive. But when he opened the door for him in front of his house, he said:
"Be careful, Don Floro, that looks like cholera.

I really lead a charmed life.

whoa

2009-05-17T14:51:00.007-05:00

No matter how many times I hear this part of "Go Go Gadget Flow," I'm still amazed at the very rhyme-iness of it all. And at the connectedness of it, to itself and to other people's stuff.

They race in circles like they raisin a gerbil
I race in a circle like I'm raisin a horse
I'm racin a Porsche while they racin in place
They race in a cage I race on a course

That case in the court did not defer the dream
I am still a raisin in the sun ragin against the machine

Plus, Lupe dances like I dance.

"Professional protestors"

2009-05-15T16:19:00.002-05:00

From Time's "Church Politics: Why the Pope Is Side-Stepping Notre Dame":

"It is clear that Notre Dame didn't understand what it means to be Catholic when they issued this invitation," said Cardinal Francis George, president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). The conservative Cardinal Newman Society organized a petition calling for Notre Dame president Father John Jenkins to disinvite the President. Professional protesters such as Alan Keyes and Randall Terry have descended on the South Bend campus, pushing blood-covered baby dolls in Spongebob strollers and getting themselves arrested. And Cardinal James Francis Stafford, one of the highest-ranking Americans at the Vatican, has declared Obama an unfit honoree because his statements on abortion reflect "an agenda and vision that are aggressive, disruptive and apocalyptic."

Obama on abortion:

"I think that most Americans realize that this is a profoundly difficult issue for the women and families who make these decisions. They don't make them casually. I trust women to make these decisions in conjunction with their doctors and their families and their clergy, and I think that's where most Americans are. Now, when you describe a specific procedure that accounts for less than one percent of abortions that take place, then, naturally, people get concerned, and I think legitimately so... There's a broader issue, though. That is, can we move past some of the debates around things about which we disagree, and can we start talking about things we do agree on? Reducing teen pregnancy, making it less likely for women to find themselves in the situation where they've got to anguish over these decisions. Those are areas where I think we can all start mobilizing and move forward rather than look backward."

Now, remind me, who's the one who's got a point? The bloody-doll-pushing, apocalypse predictors, or the guy who wants to mobilize to reduce teen pregnancy and other issues that cause women to have to choose? I mean, the good thing for pro-choicers like me is that the pro-lifers seem to be making our job pret-ty easy.

Who the f are you.

2009-05-12T18:20:00.003-05:00

You know what's weird about teaching? When kids who I don't have and never have had as students address me as "Ms. Dahlke" and I have no idea who they are. I mean, I know that as one of about one hundred persons "of authority" in the building, I'm probably more conspicuous than any of the thirteen hundred students. It's still odd.

On a related note, the yearbook came out this week, and in the collage on the cover there is a photo of me looking a hot mess. My hands are up in the air, I'm kinda making my dance face, and I'm standing in front of the vent so my hair is blown up. I'm gonna try to snap a pic of it with my cell next time one of my students has it with them and I have a free second.

honestly

2009-05-11T22:04:00.002-05:00

I don't think I have patience enough to work *kindly* with my actively (albeit, I think, unwittingly) racist students to be the kind of antiracist teacher I would like to be.

I can't BELIEVE I forgot that I love reading.

2009-05-11T18:04:00.007-05:00

I'm an English teacher for Chrissakes. It's just so easy to not read books when I spend all day reading emails, worksheets, student essays, blogs, news articles, message boards, my Google reader, Facebook, body language in my classroom.

In the last two weeks, though, I've read this:(Holy cow.)

this:

(Tres compelling.)

this:

(Kinda dumb and kinda awesome.)

this:

(Inspiring.)

and this:(Challenging. As in I feel like I better do something.)

Now I'm getting started with this:(Required reading for my summer course!)

All excuses accounted for, I seriously don't know why I let myself get out of the practice of reading all the time. Shameful. These last two weeks, I've found that my books have woven into my thought processes even when I'm not reading; I'm making all kinds of connections between what's on the pages I'm reading and what's being said, written, performed, resisted in my classroom.

I mean, duh. This is what I ask my students to do all the time. Why the f did I think I was exempt?

not surprising

2009-05-06T14:50:00.003-05:00

From Chancellor Herman's recent email about the vandalizing of an anti-racist art display in front of the cultural houses on Nevada:

We need to begin thinking of these crimes differently. First, let us not view this as happening to someone else. What threatens one member of our community threatens all of us. We are all diminished in the wake of such an act. Indeed, Illinois is diminished and that should concern our
community.

Who's we? By we-ing in a way that excludes us from the targeted "group," even, ironically, as he asks us not to do so, Herman assumes Whiteness, or at least not-American Indian-ness, of his readers. Which I guess is fair assumption since someone once told me there are 12 American Indian students at U of I.

star struck

2009-05-04T13:46:00.003-05:00

I just got to see my *favorite researchers* Douglas Fisher and Nancy Frey present.

Douglas said:
"I don't understand why we have all of our computers in one place. We would never have a pencil lab. Why do we have a computer lab? Computers should be everywhere."

Nancy said:
"Every time I make a rule for my students to follow, I check it against this question: Does this rule make their world smaller?" She went on to explain that if schools' consistently make rules that protect students from the world instead of rules that prepare them to make decisions about how to be critical consumers of that world, we're in a sense following the lead of institutions like prisons that minimize the world for their constituents. Huh.

Michelle Obama and Carla Bruni: NOT gossiping school girls

2009-04-29T07:10:00.003-05:00

"OMG"? Seriously, Time?

nerd alert

2009-04-28T19:20:00.002-05:00

I'm super excited about reading Othello with my students and about how they're responding to it. Super excited.

a funny thing happened on the way to the suburbs

2009-04-26T15:31:00.004-05:00

Yesterday when I was on the El on the way to my parents' from the city, a person who I think was homeless thought that I was homeless.

I came up from Champaign Friday night and stayed with Didi, so I had my ratty old duffel bag full of clothes for the weekend. I also had a shopping bag with a pair of shoes I'd picked up near the station and my purse/handbag, which is rather large. I was wearing jeans, a blouse, and a cardigan, and I hadn't taken a shower.

The man had a black garbage bag full of stuff and a bike. He was wearing jeans with a cowboy-style vest and no shirt.

I was sort of day-dreaming when I made eye contact with him, so I smiled. He looked at me with concern and asked me if I needed help finding a place to stay. Confused, I said, "No, thanks. I'm good." Then he asked me if I needed any fare money. "No, thanks. I'm good." Then he asked me if I needed any coffee. Again, I told him I was good. Before he got off he checked again that I had someplace to stay, and then he gave me a slip of paper with his name and phone number on it "in case [I] need anything."

This was altogether a very strange experience.

bad marketing

2009-04-24T20:07:00.004-05:00

Here's the logo for the conference I'm attending in a couple weeks with three other new teachers from my school. I'm super psyched about it; don't get me wrong. But I think Lisa Frank designed the logo. Mine is not a butterflies and rainbows kinda classroom.

I love my profession.

2009-04-23T21:41:00.007-05:00

I really do. I like feeling as though my work is important. Today, for example, one of my students, who's typically a little all over the place, brought in this final product for his research project on universal design and accessible playgrounds. I was so proud of him. His research was thorough and innovative, and he seemed pretty pleased with himself as he explained to his classmates how the playground that he'd designed would be a place where anybody could play, regardless of their physical capabilities. How fun to get to watch teens figure out that they can do something to positively change this fucked up world.

But I ended my day sitting at my desk, writing a discipline referral, and sobbing. About another student, one who I really believe is convinced he can't. Just in general, can't. I'm genuinely heartbroken that, at this point, he's probably going to fail the class, and I don't know what else I can do to convince him to do what it takes to pass. Johnny told me yesterday that I should come to terms with the fact that sometimes you have to stop trying. I know I have to. But I don't know how to stop caring.

(By the way, the anti-sentimentality in me is cringing at that last sentence.)

"I'm thinkin-a tryin out for a scholarSHIYAP."

2009-04-21T20:49:00.006-05:00

A student of mine has four hour-long detentions he needs to serve with me for wasting four days of class last week. And today, he was on the time-wasting track again. So I said, "Wasting this hour will get you another detention. That will be five. Is that what you want?"

And then, in my head, I said, "You mess with the bull, young man, you'll get the horns!"

(And thinking of that movie, and how alarmingly similar I had sounded to Richard Vernon, was really the only thing that could've helped me out of this funk I'm in over my students' not-up-to-par work -- and clearly my not-up-to-par teaching -- on these research projects. Ungh.)

good friendth

2009-04-16T20:17:00.002-05:00

Here's a reason why Kasey's great. When I was telling her today how disappointed I was with myself for getting impatient -- extremely impatient -- with a student today, she got as irate about the student's behavior during my telling as I had gotten in the moment. I told her what happened, and when I to the part in the story at which in the moment I wanted to put my fist through the computer screen, she got super angry for/with me. It's not that her reaction made me feel justified, just human.

Here's a reason why Jessica is great. When I told her that I had to write my first discipline referral of the semester, and that one of the things that I had to write on the form was that the student went into the adjoining computer lab, raised his arms high in the air and yelled at all of the students in that class, "You are all idiots!" she about died laughing. And while in the moment part of me knew it was hilarious, the part of me that's striving for a rigorous learning environment did not. Laughing -- especially laughing that hard -- at my own failures is super useful, seriously. Laughing at funny shit like a student yelling at a bunch of people he doesn't know, "You are all idiots!" is also very fun.

half a sick-day

2009-04-14T21:29:00.004-05:00

I took the morning off to try to get over this bear of a cold. I woke up to this in my inbox from Sydney. Which was very nice.

This makes me think of Cassie. And I hope on our summer roadtrip we can make something like this happen. Yes?

Mom's a little peeved

2009-04-14T16:26:00.000-05:00

that I would suggest that I like sensible women because of how many times I watched Mary Poppins and read Malory Towers and not because I grew up with a sensible, shit-getting-done woman for a Mom. This lady right here:

Okay, probably a combination of both. After all, it was Mom who introduced me to Enid Blyton.

always been a fan of boring

2009-04-12T12:34:00.005-05:00

With Jess and Kasey and Alex out of town this weekend, I've taken some time, predictably, to get some work done. I met with a student to catch her up on missing classwork, did some grading and planning, read a book on language and grammar instruction, cleaned the apartment, did some laundry, contemplated working out but didn't, went to church for the first time in a while, and watched some really crappy movies.

Right now, I'm watching Mona Lisa Smile. I've never seen it, but I read the book. The book that's based on the movie. It's craptastic, but I can't get enough of Julia Stiles application to Yale law school despite the pressure put on her to "just get married." Earlier this weekend I watched In Her Shoes, and totally identified with the lawyer sister with the poor dating skills. When the fun sister opened her closet and tried on all her shoes, despite the lawyer sister's notes telling her not to do so, my blood boiled.

The thing is, I'm a sucker for a story with a sensible woman at its center. As a little kid, my favorite movies were Mary Poppins and Sleeping With the Enemy. Though seemingly unrelated, both movies feature a woman who assesses a problematic situation, and then does something about it. They get shit done, if you will. My favorite books were those in Enid Blyton's Malory Towers series. These books, set in a girls' boarding school in England, tell the stories of all kinds of silly girls, but its protagonist is Darrell, one with a good head on her shoulders who makes mistakes but learns from them.

I love Natalie Portman, except for the her silliness in Closer, before the ending when you find out she's actually incredibly complicated and thoughtful. I'm absolutely convinced that Philip Seymour Hoffman is guilty in Doubt, but I could have told you that from watching the previews. Whatever you say, Meryl Streep. Don't get me started on Emma Thompson in Love Actually and Laura Linney in that and everything else, but especially Kinsey. Miranda Hobbes? Yes, please. I feel emotionally torn at the end of Grease because even though I love the "We Go Together" thang, it annoys me that Sandy changes everything for Danny. No backbone, and no good, sensible friends to speak of.

The other day in a meeting with some English teachers, one of them told us about a short-story unit she does using Kohlberg's theory of moral development. They learn the stages and then apply them to the decisions made in the stories they read. Finally, they write about the degree to which literature shapes our morals. Sort of interesting. It made me think about to what extent I am drawn to these characters because of who I am and what I bring to a book I read or movie I watch. Or maybe my repetitive reading and watching of these stories, set up to make the reader or watcher identify with the protagonist, shaped the way I understand what a "good" woman is. I don't know.

whoopsie-doozie

2009-04-10T11:08:00.008-05:00

Johnny called me this morning, and when I picked up said, "I need you to find something funny so that I don't end up killing Eoin." Luckily for my nephew, I think the fact that he tried to give his sister "a haircut just like mine" is hilarious.

According to the photo Johnny sent me, it's sort of a faux-mullet, but Nola thinks she looks "so pretty." Maybe I should preemptively nominate her for What Not to Wear, so that when she get to the buying-her-own-clothes stage, we don't have any problems. This young woman needs some Stacy and Clinton up in her life.

UPDATE: Now she and I have the same haircut!

wise beyond their years

2009-04-10T10:01:00.002-05:00

No school today, so I've been running some errands this morning. As I was walking through my neighborhood, I heard a few sevenish-year-olds chatting as they rode bikes.

"Did you just say something mean about my teacher?"
"He said 'expectations.'"
"Yeah, and actually that's a good thing. Teachers should have expectations."
"It makes us want to obey them."

ha I don't know about that "obey" stuff.

two songs I can't stop listening to these days:

2009-04-08T06:29:00.004-05:00

I take it back.

2009-04-07T20:33:00.005-05:00

Because I liked meeting with Kasey and Rachael and Gia today about the not-activist conference we're planning. It was exciting and productive, and those three are oh-so thoughtful. I think I can narrow my displeasure down to meetings that are not productive. Or purposeful.